How to Tell Your Children About Divorce and Separation

When you’re staring down the barrel of a divorce or separation, it’s tough to know how to tell your children that the two of you are splitting up.

But it is possible to go through separation and divorce and come out of the other side with your children feeling confident, loved and ready for what the future brings. Here’s how:

Tell them together

During a separation, it’s easy for one of the parents to come out of the process worse than the other. That’s why it’s important to present a united front when telling them about the change affecting there. This way you’ll prevent your children being dragged into your conflict, if there is one.

If it’s not possible for you and your partner to be together when you tell your children about divorce then the two of you should try and agree what you’re going to say.

Tell the truth

Your children deserve to know why their parents are splitting up and bending the truth at such a critical juncture in their life simply isn’t an option. However, it can be tough to know how much you should share with them. But you know your kids better than any other – only use simple language that they’re completely comfortable with.

Before you speak to them, establish exactly what you’re going to say and let them know that the two of you can’t live together anymore.

Tell them things will be different

It’s important to acknowledge that, as much as your children may not want to hear it, their lives (and yours) will be different from now on. In this difficult time, they will want to know how the changes will affect them.  

So let them know what will change – how the divorce may affect their education, their living arrangements or anything else. But you should also emphasise the things that will stay the same after divorce.

Tell them you love them

It’s so simple and yet so powerful. While a lot of things will be different, you have to let your children know that your love for them definitely won’t ever change.

Listen to them

Of course, it’s not all about ‘telling’. Once you’ve shared your news with your children it’s time to sit back and listen. Be patient, encouraging them to share their feelings and help them to communicate exactly what they’re thinking.

Talk to Howells about divorce and family law today

At Howells Solicitors, we’ve been providing expert, empathetic legal advice to families in South Wales for over 20 years. Speak to our team free of charge today by ringing 02920 404014 or emailing info@howellslegal.com.  

by Karis Jones